Use

Often, I find myself wondering if I really should have just taken some loans and gone to Smith. I don't feel like I'm really growing and maturing as a person here, and it's really frightening because my main goal is to discover myself -- my true passions, my beliefs -- the things that define who I am (whatever that is), even when I am stripped of this makeup, these clothing, these social norms I unknowingly conform and act to please.

Would I be fitter, happier (not to sound like a Radiohead track), more whole and content? I'm a firm believer of perspective being the determinant of your own happiness, and I've tried really hard to see the best in this situation. I'm patiently waiting for the view, but I'm worried because the vault of patience is a numerable amount.

I have met some amazing people, and that, with a select number of things I am learning in some classes I am taking, makes everything fairly tolerable and decently pleasant, but there's still something missing, and I can't figure it out.